Same Love

"Same Love"
(with Ryan Lewis)
(feat. Mary Lambert)

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay
‘Cause I could draw, and my uncle was, and I kept my room straight
I told my mom tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you've loved girls since before pre-k shrimp”
Trippin’, yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, “yea I’m good at little league”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing god, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And god loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
I can't change
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
"Man, that’s gay" gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ‘em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

We press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking ‘round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever god we believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
I can't change
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I‘m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
Love is kind

My very straight best friend showed this to me and I cried. It's definitely one of my new favorites.

Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

Ok. So I recently got back together and then proceeded to break up with my ex girlfriend. We got back together because truly my heart wasn't ready to let go and I believed everything could change and be different.We were back together for a total of a week. The entire time we were together I just couldn't be happy. My heart felt like it shouldn't be in a relationship. Everything just felt wrong. I couldn't trust her. I had a crush developing on someone else. I just knew it was over. Not to mention to get any attention out of her was like pulling teeth. So I did the adult thing and ended it. No point in staying in a relationship that has already failed. So I ended it. That night she brought over all my stuff I had at her house. I failed to get my phone charger, hat, bag, and brand new head phones I let her borrow. What really through me off though was she tried returning all our pictures we had developed, the shirt I bought her, and all the notes I ever wrote her. I was like seriously?! Well I had to box everything up so I through those in the box along with everything else. And since she kept a few things of mine I kept a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. So since we broke up its like she can't get enough of me. Suddenly I get texts every hour until like 1 in the morning. She constantly tells me she'll never be happy and how much she loves me. And all I can think is where was all this when we were together? I have moved on. Just let me be happy.

Dear Future Me

Dear Future Me,
I know there has been some things in your past you're not so proud of. That's ok though.We live and learn. What's important is that you don't live your life in regret. All those mistakes you made, times you screwed up, chemicals you pumped into your body. They mean nothing now. That was the past. And sure maybe a few things followed you into the future. I'm sure an addiction or two is on that list. Honey remember it's all going to be ok. You may look back right now and hate some of the choices you made. That's understandable. Sometimes what we wanted at the time turns out to be exactly what we never wanted. But you have to remember this, you made those choices. Nobody makes these choices for you. At the time it was everything you ever wanted. Sure you may not want it now. If that's the case you have the power to change it. Your life is yours to create. Want to get rid of the past? Take a step towards the future. Got a habit you want to get rid of? I know you have the will power to stop. And if you don't find something better to replace it. You'll make it. Your life will be your own again someday. And someday could very well be today. Next I want to address the fact that I have no idea if you're still alive or not. All our life we knew we wouldn't live long. So what happened to you? Is your heart still beating? Did you finally snap and end it all? Did the cancer take over? I know that you're a fighter so I know that if you are six feet under you fought til the very end. Life just wins sometimes. Stay strong. Stay beautiful. This is probably the worst future me conversation ever. :)
See you in the mirror.
Chelsi

Crossroads

What do you do when you're standing at a fork in the road and both directions have positives to them? You know you can't turn back once you make your choice. And the paths lead in opposite directions very far away from each other. How can you give up one thing for another? How can one be more important than the other? So here's my issue. My ex and I have been getting close again. Although I am apprehensive I will admit that I do want to be with them again. I know I will likely end up hurt again and it could be a bad idea, but I'm not willing to let go yet so I'm willing to give it another try. The problem lies with the fact that my friends and family hate them now for hurting me. And they all tell me I should not go back to them. I also know, even though they haven't said so themselves, that I would lose a few friends. But I also feel like it should be my decision. If I want to potentially ruin my life or find pure happiness I am going to do it. But I also don't want to lose people over a relationship. It's all too complicated. I'm just hoping I make the right decision. I mean I am taking it really slowly. I remember what happened between us the first time and it scares the hell out of me the think we could end up like that again. But I want to at least give it a shot. If anything I can just back out and call it quits. Even if it leaves me with no friends and no relationship. I'll just have to take on the world alone. Nothing new to my life.

He Is We- Our July In The Rain Lyrics

"Our July In The Rain"

Bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain.
Lift you up so you could finally see
The love you are to me.

I've had time and I've had change
I've been broken but still I can't explain.
Our July..

Why'd I have to go and do you like that?
Thought I'd moved on, then you brought me right back.
To the night you took my kiss away from me.
I took yours too, then I lost you.

Would you bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain.
Lift you up so you could finally see
The love you are to me.

I've had time and I've had change
I've been broken but still I can't explain.
Our July in the Rain....hey.. 

Every part of me is broken now
I tried to scream but nothing came out
drop my pride and I reveal my inside
and it all came pouring out.

Would you bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain.
Lift you up so you could finally see
The love you are to me.

I've had time and I've had change
I've been broken but still I can't explain.
Our July in the rain

This melody
will never speak
all the things that I regret if I could say anything
my apologies for the way I ended things 
see I love you but it scared me, 
you scared me, 
you scared me, 
you scared me, 
would you please.. 

Bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain.
Lift you up so you could finally see
The love you are to me.

I've had time and I've had change
I've been broken but still I can't explain.
Our July..oh oh oh oh

Would you bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain.
Lift you up so you could finally see
The love you are to me.

I've had time and I've had change
I've been broken but still I can't explain.
Our July..

The Troubles With Letting Go

Well as my followers should know I recently got out of a relationship. I was strong at first. Ready to leave and ready to leave it all behind me. But, I'm starting to learn there are some troubles with letting go. 1. You just spent (X) amount of time with this person. For me it was every single day for 4 months I was by this persons side. Suddenly you're facing the world alone. I don't know about the rest of the world but for me that is terrifying. Suddenly you have no-one to protect you from the world or be there instantly when life comes crashing down. 2. In my case we live 1 street away from each other. So, we're essentially really convenient for each other. 3. You're use to talking to them all the time and now you have no-one to talk to. And here's where it's more my life orientated but I'm sure some of you can related. 4. When they text you late at night asking you to come over you're more than willing because one more night in their arms is worth every ounce of heartache you'll feel later. 5. When they still tell you they love you or still call you baby you can't help but think that there is still hope. 6. When they ask you to wait for them you're more than willing to because maybe, just maybe, it means they'll be crawling back soon. Mostly your head tells you to let go but your heart knows it's useless to even try. When you're so incredibly in love you refuse to let them go even when their gone. Love bites but it can also be so beautiful.

For Our Sanity

So, I know I've made a break up post before but I feel like this one in the end is more important. I was not with this person very long; 4 months. But they were 4 beautiful months. It was mostly over the summer so we spent practically everyday together and were madly in love. We fought every now and then but all couples do. And I've said before fighting is good. Well things started to go to shit when school started. She started to blow me off for her friends. I wouldn't hear from her until about 10 every night. At that point I would either go see her or she would come see me and we would spend the night together. I wasn't happy with the system but I thought it would be better than never seeing her and having to give up our relationship completely. Well, about a week into school I was really sick. Like in and out of the hospital sick. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. A genetic intestinal disease. Well during that week she was really good about stopping by and checking on me. She took great care of me when I needed it. And I was so grateful to have her. So then the Friday of that week I get a text. It read "Hey don't get mad but I'm playing spin the bottle." I let it go at the time; but it's going to play back into our story. So the following week I don't hear much from her, I'm back in school, I had figured we were both just really busy. Well Wednesday I was hanging out with one of our mutual friends. We were having a good time and we invited my girlfriend to come hang out. She showed up with one of her other friends then left within 20 minutes with a shitty attitude. That night she text me and said she was questioning our relationship because we never saw each other. Truth be told I was questioning it too. But I was willing to fight for it and make it work if at all possible. Well later that night she had me come over and we hung out and I stayed the night like I always did. No big deal. We talked about our relationship and she said she wanted to be with me cause she was happy she just was struggling with it. I was too. And in all reality it was our fault because we were around each other 24/7 during the summer; we didn't know how to be apart. So I went home that morning and everything appeared normal. Well at 8:39 I get a text from her. This is the first time all year she bothered to text me at school. Well when I opened it up I was devastated. She had text me and asked if we could take a break. Then when I told her if that is what would make her happy she told me this. "It's not about my happiness. It's the fact that we never see each other. Plus someone I love just came out and there might be a shot. I still love you but I don't know what I want right now." So to me I took that as she wanted someone else and she was done with me. So instead of just taking a break I decided we should just be broken up. But she text me "I didn't leave you for someone else. I left for our sanity." I'll let you guys decide for yourselves but I don't believe her. And I will never forget that sentence as long as I live. So wee go through the weekend. We talked a couple times as friends but really neither of us were ready for just friends so the conversations were short. Monday all my love and trust that was still intact was completely destroyed. So her ex-girlfriend, one of my really good friends came up to me and was like "I didn't want to tell you this because I didn't want to you to hate me but I feel like you deserve to know this. She cheated." She then proceeded to tell me how my girlfriend had started the game of spin the bottle on her own even when everyone told her not to because she had a girlfriend. And how she got really into it and tried forcing her ex to make out with her when she didn't want to. I trust this girl when she says she pushed my girlfriend off and wanted nothing to do with it. I told her I wasn't mad at her and I appreciated the fact that she had the love and respect to tell me. So then I text my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend and asked her about it. She admitted to most of it. But got mad at me because I already knew about the game. I only knew she played it. I didn't know what the outcome was or who she had played with. So then I was like what happened with your ex that night? And she responded "What about her? I was just going around asking people wanna make out wanna make out? Which was like ----- and ------- and ----. Then spin the bottle was played." As if that makes it OK! She flat out just admitted to cheating and thought I would be cool with it! But the story gets every better. So that night she text me around 11:30 and was like "Will you come over? I need one final goodbye and to apologize." So I went over around 12. And she apologized and we agreed to be friends. She had asked me if we could be a couple again and I told her I didn't think I could trust her enough. I want her back but I didn't want to get hurt again. So we agreed just friends was the best option. But then we kissed and all signals got mixed. She wanted me to stay the night with her one last time and I being caught up in the moment agreed. But I couldn't sleep. Something just felt wrong. I was going to leave but I couldn't find my phone. I knew I had an alarm set for 2 so I could go home so I waited for that. But I wanted to know how long I needed to wait so I grabbed her phone to check the time. 1:50. Ten minutes I could handle that. But then I got curious. So I checked her texts to see if she had already moved on or what. There was one text that made me realize it was a good thing I told her no to getting back together. There was a series of texts to an unsaved number in her phone. "Hey sexy." "You're on my to-do list" And the last one killed me. "Baby I love you and I hope that it isn't weird. It's just natural. You need to kiss me more often because I never wanted to stop." And all I could think is half an hour ago she kissed me and was saying she loved me and was going to miss me. 1:55. For five minutes I had to sit in her room hating being that close to someone who had so thoroughly broken my heart. My alarm went off. My phone had fallen out of my pocket and ended up under her leg. I grabbed it and ran out of her house not caring how much noise I made. She had just betrayed me beyond words. If she even thinks we are ever getting back together she is dead wrong. I will never be able to trust her again. SO I text her when I got home and was like "Thanks for that. I finally got the closure I needed. Glad we're just friends. Have a nice life stay safe don't do anything too stupid. Goodbye." And now I have no intention of ever talking to her again. I have a box full of her things that I'm going to leave either in her car or on her front door step one of these days. And tonight when i go home I'm going to burn all of our pictures. I don't even want the memories. And the funny thing is, I'm not even sad anymore. I just want her out of my life because I have no trust or respect anymore. My horoscope was very insightful for this exact event today. It said "Constant analysis of a bridge's suspension cables makes it much more difficult to cross. Looking across--not down and behind--makes a more successful journey. Opening up old wounds adds to the pain and creates a big mess. Today, stop dwelling on the past and focus on the brighter future that lies ahead. Take one step in a new direction, even if it's a baby step." So that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to let go of this relationship and move forward towards my own happiness. No need to stay focused on something that makes me so unhappy.
Love,
Chelsi Wilson